The Gift


Open me.
Go on.
Look inside.
Just quick.
Who’ll know?
Open me.
Go on.
It’s almost time.
You can peek.
Just act surprised tomorrow.
No one will know.
I’m probably a jumper.
Bet I’m a jumper.
Ugly thing.
Roll neck.
Scratchy fabric.
What colour?
Don’t know.
Open me.
Go on.
Just give me a squeeze then.
A quick squeeze.
Nice wrapping, isn’t it?
I’m soft.
Must be a jumper.
What’s that hard bit?
Am I two things?
Or are they connected?
They are connected.
I’m not a jumper then.
Funny, isn’t it?
You normally get a jumper.
What is it this time?
Not a jumper.
One day ’till Christmas.
Are you going to wait?
Are you?
Open me.
My paper’s a bit torn anyway.
A little bit.
Can you see in?
Peer in.
Go on.
What am I?
Can’t see?
I’m a bit more torn now.
I’m practically open.
You still can’t see what’s inside?
Enough pretending.
Just open me. . .
You must be disappointed.
You were expecting something else.
Something better.
A jumper would have been nice.
Act surprised.
Be thankful.
It’s the thought that counts.

A Monologue written by Scott Kingsnorth from the keyword Gift

  4 Responses to “The Gift”

  1. fab just fab

  2. Darth Vader: ‘I know what you have for Christmas, Luke Skywalker.’
    Luke Skywalker: ‘Oh no you don’t’
    Darth Vader: ‘Oh yes I do’
    Luke Skywalker: ‘Oh no you don’t’
    Darth Vader: ‘Oh yes I do, Luke Skywalker – I’ve felt your presence.’

    Geddit, geddit… Presence/Presents… Oh please yerselves *tsk* 🙂 …

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